Am I mentally Ok/ Stable/ Normal?

I have an eating disorder and I self harm, but today I binged and ate so much. Then I wanted to self harm, but I've run out of razors so i drank some bleach and then nothing happened and I started crying and scratching and I was the only one home, so no one saw, but I was crying my eyes out and I weighed myself and i got a knife and considered stabbing myself, but i resisted and then i shouted screaming and shouting then i threw the scales out the window and i huddled by the door crying and shaking my head saying no. Then i took loads of cough syrup and some more bleach and I started laughing hysterically. then i don't remember what happened. Next thing i know, i'm sitting with a cup of tea watching TV. Is that normal?